Dark Vow: A Dark New Adult Romance Read online

  Dark Vow

  A Dark New Adult Romance

  BB Hamel

  Contents

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  Trigger Warning

  Dear Robyn

  1. Robyn

  2. Robyn

  Dear Robyn

  3. Robyn

  4. Calvin

  5. Robyn

  6. Calvin

  Dear Robyn

  7. Robyn

  8. Calvin

  9. Robyn

  10. Robyn

  11. Calvin

  Dear Robyn

  12. Robyn

  13. Calvin

  14. Robyn

  Dear Robyn

  15. Robyn

  16. Robyn

  17. Robyn

  Dear Robyn

  18. Robyn

  19. Calvin

  20. Robyn

  21. Robyn

  22. Robyn

  Dear Robyn

  23. Robyn

  24. Calvin

  25. Robyn

  26. Calvin

  27. Robyn

  28. Calvin

  29. Robyn

  Epilogue: Des

  Preview: Perfect Monster

  Also by BB Hamel

  Copyright © 2021 by B. B. Hamel

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Cover design by Coverluv Book Designs

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  Trigger Warning

  This book contains graphic descriptions of sexual content, explicit violence, and past trauma. These scenes were written to create a more vivid, in-depth experience, but may be triggering for some readers.

  Read at your own risk.

  Dear Robyn

  When I think about you, it hurts.

  I like the pain.

  Sometimes, I picture you bent over my bed with my pillow between your teeth while I spank your ass raw. Do you want that? Does it scare you how much the idea excites you?

  It wouldn’t be all agony. There’d be pleasure. More pleasure than you’ve ever tasted in your life.

  Do you deserve better? Do you crave more? I can give it to you.

  I’ve been watching you, Robyn. My best friend’s little cousin. Shy, smart, beautiful.

  Jarrod warned me to keep my distance, and for a long time, I listened. I care about him more than the others do. They don’t realize how deep the darkness can go.

  I’ve kept to myself. I’ve watched you blossom and bloom.

  Now I want to ruin you.

  There’s no in-between, not in my world. With me, it’s all, or it’s nothing.

  With you, it’s everything.

  Here’s what I mean:

  I need a wife, and you’re the only woman I’d ever dream of marrying.

  The stakes are high, too high for me to worry about what you want.

  I’ve known you long enough to realize you’ll never make the first move.

  Jarrod might kill me for these letters.

  I’m not sure I care.

  Do you dream at night? Do you close your eyes and feel my lips on your throat?

  I’m coming for you. I can’t wait.

  Love,

  C

  1

  Robyn

  Ever since I was a little girl, winter was my favorite season. Skeletal trees. Ice on the windowpanes. The feeling of peeling off layers only to take a steamy hot shower. Something about the world going gray, dying off, disappearing. I had a morbid sense of beauty.

  A crisp winter wind blew down off the treetops, and Cora pulled her jacket tighter. The fuzzy fake fur hood billowed like long grass, and she moved up close against my side. “Oh my god, I hate how cold it gets around here.”

  “Aren’t you used to it by now?” I nudged her with my shoulder, grinning. I liked the cold. I liked the biting wind on my cheeks.

  “I thought I was, at least until I started living with Jarrod.” Cora made a face. She’d been shacked up with my cousin for the last year. Their trailer was small and cozy, but not exactly warm. “Our place is like a big leaky tent. I swear, I can feel the freezing wind blow across our bed at night.”

  “You probably can. When was the last time he did any work on that place?”

  “He’s been trying to get things sorted recently, but you know how it is. Football season sucked up all his time. I swear, I felt like he was deployed overseas or something.” She rolled her eyes, grinning. “I’m happy it’s over.”

  “I’m happy you’re happy.”

  We wandered through the gaggles of other students, trudging over piles of snow. Winter break had seen a few inches drop a few days after Christmas.

  It had been the most horrible holiday season of my life. My mother spent it in a depressed funk while my father spent it in prison. He’d wanted everyone to visit, but I’d refused. It was hard to go sit around a dingy visiting area surrounded by strangers just to spend time with a murderer.

  Only Mom had made the trip, although I didn’t know why. She couldn’t possibly have thought Dad was worth the effort, not after having watched him abuse me and Jarrod for years and years.

  Her slavish devotion to him made my skin boil. I spent more time with Cora and Jarrod than I did with her, which only made me feel even more guilty. She’d lost her husband, and the whole town was gossiping about how she was still married to an incarcerated killer. Her life was total hell, and she needed my support now more than ever.

  I couldn’t find it in my heart to give it to her, not when she kept speaking to that bastard.

  “It’s good to be back on campus at least,” I said quietly as we made our way toward the lecture halls.

  Blackwoods College was a dream. It was an oasis south of Philadelphia, the ideal of the northern liberal arts college complete with ivy-covered brick buildings, Gothic architecture, several haunted house stories, insanely competitive student societies, and long, meandering paths through pristine, manicured lawns, trees, and shrubs. There was at least one hidden fountain, which the students lovingly called “the toking fountain” on account of the perpetual haze of weed smoke and the ever-present hemp ponchos and hacky sacks and drum circles. I stayed away from the toking fountain.

  But when I was at Blackwoods, I could forget about my life for a while. I didn’t think about my mom sitting in front of the TV crying late into the night, or zoned-out and half-conscious and high on whatever pills her doctors prescribed, or the memories of my father beating me and Jarrod senseless. I didn’t have to look at the scars, or think about hiding the bruises, or do anything but go to class, hang out with Cora, and try to be happy.

  “Have you seen him yet?” Cora looked at me sideways, a sparkle in her eye.

  I knew who she meant. The one person I wished didn’t exist.

  “Not yet.”

  I didn’t want to say his name. I was afraid it might summon him, like Voldemort but much hotter. Though, to be honest, I had a thing for the snake-face version in the movies. Something about that weird nose and the way he held his wand sent tingles down into my nether region. I chose not to look too closely at that.

  “You’re going to, though, right? I mean, that was an insane offer. Do you think he was serious?”

  “Jarrod said he probably was.”

  “Yeah, but Jarrod doesn’t know
everything.” Cora sighed and clung to my arm. “He does know a lot, though, especially about human anatomy.”

  “Okay, gross, he’s my cousin. That’s definitely over the line.”

  She laughed and pushed me away. I sighed, scooped snow, and pelted it at her. She squealed, threw some back, and as I packed the perfect ball, ready to bean it right into her face, I saw him.

  He stood at the end of the walk, off to one side, leaning up against a light pole. His arms were crossed over his chest. He wore a black jacket and slim jeans, and his eyes burned into mine, even at a distance. The snowball fell from my fingers.

  He was gorgeous. It always struck me how perfect he seemed. Calvin Solar could be covered in mud and blood and still look like a chiseled Greek god. His arms, his lips, the way his cheekbones accentuated his eyes. Even his hair was thick with a slight wave, tossed carelessly back and perfectly messy.

  As I gaped at my stalker, I got slammed with a chunk of ice right in the stomach.

  I groaned, doubled over. Cora cursed and grabbed my arm. “I didn’t realize it was so hard! Oh my god, are you okay?”

  I nodded, trying to smile. I looked up, but he was gone, like he’d never been there at all.

  I couldn’t forget those eyes, that stare. Like he wanted to undo me.

  Which he did. He’d said as much in the letters.

  “Seriously, I am so sorry,” Cora said. She helped me up and brushed off my jacket. “I got a little carried away. I guess I’m excited to be back too.”

  I looped my hand through her arm. “It’s fine, but you owe me a coffee now.”

  “That’s a deal.”

  We headed to our respective classes. She had an elective on popular culture, some filler class that she hoped would be as easy as it was boring, and I had a course on modern American fiction. As I listened to the professor talk about the syllabus, I stared out the window and couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was staring back.

  Calvin couldn’t be everywhere. He was rich, well-connected, and part of the most popular group of guys on campus, but he wasn’t omniscient and couldn’t be everywhere. If I was careful, I could avoid him.

  Maybe forever.

  His offer from last semester kept nagging at the back of my mind. I’d find myself drifting off, staring at the TV, and suddenly I’d start thinking about him. About the way he looked at me, the curve of his lips, and the sound of his voice when he’d said he wanted to marry me.

  The deal was simple. Calvin needed a wife, and he had the power to make sure my father never left prison.

  We could help each other. I wanted my father to rot behind bars forever—but his sentence carried a maximum of twenty years, and my dad wasn’t in such bad shape. He could get out one day.

  I would do anything to make sure that didn’t happen.

  Except, apparently, give myself to Calvin Solar.

  I left class and trudged out onto the sidewalk. My boots crunched over sprinkled salt granules as I headed toward the student center. I needed coffee and Cora planned on meeting me after her next class. I figured I’d do some reading and kill an hour, then we’d head back to her place for the night.

  But as I approached the building, I slowed and looked over my shoulder. The small hairs on my neck stood on end, like some primitive part of my brain was firing off neurons like crazy. I sensed something, someone watching me, eyes on my body, a sense I hadn’t known I had. It was eerie and uncomfortable, and I picked up my pace.

  It was like he hid behind every corner.

  I almost screamed when he stepped out into my path and matched my pace like a car slipping into traffic.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” I hissed at him.

  Calvin Solar barely looked down at me. He stared ahead like he was sizing up the world and he didn’t like what he saw. I hated that arrogance, like he knew he was better than everyone around him and he wasn’t afraid to show it.

  His family was rich, but so were a lot of families. Blackwoods was an elite school, and most of the students had some sort of connection: financial, political, cultural, whatever. There were sons of senators and daughters of pop stars mingling with the children of tech billionaires, and there I was, boring little Robyn.

  Calvin never should’ve noticed me. I blamed Jarrod—my cousin was a part of the Four Horsemen, the elite group of attractive and popular football stars that basically ran campus. All social events flowed through them like water, and they had the power to completely ruin someone if they chose to—which they did with shocking regularity.

  But for some reason, Calvin wanted me. I couldn’t understand why, even after the dozens and dozens of letters that he’d sent over the last six months. I wished I understood, but despite the unwanted glimpse into the deepest, darkest, most fucked-up and sensual recesses of his mind, I still didn’t know him, not one bit.

  The letters were filthy, but they didn’t reveal anything. Like he was too guarded and careful to let his real motives slip.

  I didn’t trust him, and I sure as hell didn’t want to marry him.

  “Have you been thinking about my offer?”

  “We haven’t spoken in a week and that’s the first thing you say to me, like your stupid deal is the only problem I have to deal with?”

  He glanced over with a slight frown. “I doubt you’ve got much more important things going on.”

  “Oh, god, you’re such an asshole.” I picked up my pace, but he easily matched me. “You really think everyone hangs on your every word, don’t you?”

  “I think I offered to make you my wife, and I meant it. I know you, Robyn. You’ve been obsessing.”

  The way he said that last word, obsessing, made my skin crawl, half with horror and half with excitement.

  Because yes, of course he was right. I was obsessed. I hated myself for it, but how could I not be?

  Calvin Solar wanted to marry me and get me pregnant.

  That would change my life.

  I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

  He grabbed my arm and stopped walking. His grip was tight and on the edge of painful. Several girls standing nearby stared as Calvin leaned closer. For a second, I thought they might be coming over to help—but no, they whispered to each other and looked like they were jealous, like they wished Calvin would manhandle them and invade their personal space.

  This whole place was insane.

  “Get off me, Calvin.” I stared into his perfect blue eyes, and he stared right back.

  A little smile formed on his lips.

  “Give me your answer. Will you marry me? I’ll give you whatever you want, Robyn. But I think we both know what you need.”

  “I don’t need you, if that’s the implication.”

  “Your father. Did you know men would kill for a few thousand dollars in the commissary? It’s all about having the right connections.”

  His words sent a cheap thrill into my guts.

  My father, shivved to death in prison.

  I didn’t hate the idea. The bastard deserved it and worse.

  But the price was too high.

  The price was everything.

  All of me.

  “I don’t care what you can do.”

  “Is that a no?”

  “I don’t know what it is.” I should’ve turned him down, flat out. And yet I couldn’t speak the words.

  He moved closer, hand tightening. “I’m going to Europe for a business trip. I want you to come with me.”

  I would’ve laughed if his fingers weren’t biting into my flesh. “I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re hurting me.”

  His grip didn’t lessen. “I’m leaving for Riga on Friday and returning on Monday. You’ll have to miss those classes, but I think you can afford it.”

  “Riga? What business?” I shook my head, glaring.

  “Riga is in Latvia. You’ve heard of it?”

  “Don’t be a condescending prick.”

  Another ghostly smile. “We’re l
eaving Friday afternoon. I’ll pick you up.”

  “I’m not going.”

  He sighed. “Don’t make this difficult.”

  “Calvin. Listen to me.” I wrenched my arm away and took a step back, desperate to put some space between us. When he was that close, I found it hard to think. “I’m not going to Europe with you. I’m certainly not leaving this Friday. And I’m not marrying you.”

  “Is that your final answer?” His eyes burned with something I couldn’t identify. Rage? Passion? Desire? All of the above, and more.

  “I’m not going to Europe with you,” I said, my voice softer. “Just leave me alone, okay? Stop writing me letters.”

  “So you’ve been reading them.”

  “Of course I have. But that doesn’t mean—”

  “Then you understand.” He came closer. I backed into a bench and almost sat down. “I’m going to have you, Robyn. It can be now, or it can be later, but I’m persistent and I know what I want. You don’t need to make this difficult.”

  Anger flared then. He didn’t know a damn thing about me. Just because he was friends with my cousin didn’t mean he had a right to me. He couldn’t claim me, steal me, take me.

  I had control here.

  “Go to hell. Stop sending me letters. Stop following me around. I’m not playing your stupid, twisted game.” I shoved past him, heart racing wildly.