His Dream Baby: A Miracle Baby Romance Read online

  And it’s why I became a mother.

  I show Ryan to his room. It’s small and in the back of my apartment, but it’s all his. I have a little bed for him, some toys, a little desk. He lights up when he sees it and looks back at me, a little unsure.

  “Go ahead,” I say. “It’s all yours.”

  He runs in there, grabs an action figure, and starts to make shooting noises. It’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him. I’ve only known him for a few months, but he’s barely said ten words in all that time. This is the most noise he’s ever made.

  There’s a knock at the door that pulls me away from Ryan. I didn’t even realize I was smiling so much, watching how happy he is.

  “I’ll be right back, okay?” I say to him. “Stay right there.”

  He nods but doesn’t look over. He’s engrossed in his new toys in his new room.

  I leave head back through the living room. Someone knocks again, a little more insistent this time. “I’m coming,” I call out before opening the door a crack.

  Enzo Gallo stands there, grinning at me. He’s about my height, so short for a guy, but he’s broad. He’s almost as wide as he is tall, and most of that’s muscle. He’s a little Pitbull, with dark eyes like a Pitbull, and way more dangerous.

  “Hiya, Leah,” he says. “Long time no see.”

  “Enzo.” I frown at him. “What are you doing here?”

  “Just came by to say hello, I heard you were coming home today.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I’m sorry, I should explain. I heard you were bringing our son home.” He grins at me even wider.

  I flinch. I didn’t even know the Gallo family knew about Ryan, but of course they do. They have their fingers in everything that happens in Philadelphia. I had hoped that because Harper was in a hospital out in the suburbs, maybe they wouldn’t hear. But of course they did, I should have known when I saw her obituary in the paper. I don’t know who else would have written it, and I know I didn’t do it. That should have been my warning but I was too busy trying to iron out the legalities surrounding Ryan’s adoption to really think about it.

  Frankly, I haven’t had much time to think about anything but Ryan these last few whirlwind weeks.

  Enzo’s smile is so slimy I almost want to puke. “He’s not your son,” I say to him.

  “Oh, but he is.” Enzo goes to step forward, but I block his way. He laughs softly, but he doesn’t press.

  “He’s my son now,” I say. “Don’t you think there’s a reason why Harper left him to me?”

  He just shrugs. “Doesn’t matter to us, we just want him.”

  “What do you mean, want him?”

  “He’s a Gallo,” he says softly. “It’s in his blood. You don’t have to do anything now, I know this is new and hard. But we want him, Leah. We can make your life easier.”

  I stare at him, totally at a loss for words. “You… want to take Ryan?”

  “We’ll raise him in the family, give him a good life.”

  He almost sounds like he believes it. I can’t imagine the kind of existence they’d give Ryan. He’d be a criminal his whole life. They’d bring him up to know nothing but crime and fear and violence, and I don’t want that for him. Harper didn’t want it for him, either.

  “I don’t think so,” I say. “He’s my son now. I’m sorry, Enzo. Maybe you guys can visit him sometimes, but… he’s staying with me.”

  Enzo nods a little bit. “Sure, whatever you say. We’d love to see the boy soon.”

  “Soon,” I echo.

  “Let him get settled and all. But Leah, when it gets hard, and it’s going to, you think about what I said. We want him.”

  Enzo smiles at me, turns, and walks away. I watch him disappear down the hallway, down the steps, and out of view.

  I shut the door slowly and back into my apartment. I walk through the living room and lean up against the wall outside of Ryan’s room. He turns back to me and smiles, and I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him smile since I met him. He’s sitting on the floor, toys spread out around him, looking like he’s never been happier before.

  I smile back at him but Enzo’s words are ringing in my ear. When it gets hard… when it gets hard.

  I know it’s going to get hard. I know I’m on the way there. So far things have been easy, mostly out of momentum. I haven’t had time to stop and think about what I’m doing, what this means for my life, and for Ryan’s life. But now here we are, alone in my apartment, and suddenly it feels so real.

  I take a breath and let it out. I know I’m in over my head. But I can’t let the Gallo family have this boy. Watching him play, so innocent and normal and free, I just can’t do it. They’ll corrupt him, destroy him.

  Although I wonder what he’s going to end up doing to me.

  3

  Connor

  When I land in Philadelphia, the first thing I do is contact Harper’s family.

  They own this town, although most people don’t know it. The Gallo Crime Family is the most powerful mafia in Philly, and they’re violent, dangerous bastards. Harper had nothing good to say about him, and I’ve always blamed them for her problems.

  She grew up in some shit circumstances. She had an abusive father, horrible brothers, and a bunch of mafia scum always around her. She remembers violence and crime was a way of life, even as a young girl. She used to think being a mafia princess was a great thing, but that quickly soured as she got older.

  I remember when we first met. I knew she was running away from something. People don’t move out to a small California town for no reason, especially when they don’t know anyone. It took me a while to learn what Harper was running from, but eventually she opened up, and I was horrified.

  Now I’m on their home turf, but I can’t help it. My son’s here, I can already feel it. I’m like a starving man finally finding a bit of food for the first time in a long time. I feel stronger, more alert already. I feel like I’m coming out into the world.

  I don’t want to get involved with them. I wish I could pretend like they don’t fucking exist, but I know there’s no other way for me to find my missing son without at least giving them a call.

  I haven’t tried them in two years. I called early on, when Harper first went missing. I got her brother Enzo’s number from her computer, but he didn’t seem to give a shit if she was alive or dead. He blew me off pretty fast, and I just never bothered with them again after that.

  Now’s different, though. She was actually here, and so was my son. I find a relatively quiet spot, hunker down, get out my phone, and dial the number. It rings a few times, and I’m suddenly afraid that it’s disconnected and I won’t be able to reach these people at all.

  But suddenly, he answers. “Who’s this?” he grunts right off the bat.

  “This is Connor Hunt,” I say. “Harper’s ex.”

  The voice is silent for a second. “Connor, huh,” he says. “Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

  I recognize Enzo’s voice. “You made it clear last time that you didn’t know where she was.”

  He laughs a little bit. “Yeah, well, she’s been dead to us for a while. I guess she’s just dead for real now.”

  I feel a strange spike of sadness, but it quickly vanishes. “How?” I ask.

  “Drugs,” Enzo answers right away. “Got an infection from a shit needle and ended up dying in a hospital near town. Called her cousin Leah to look after her but that didn’t do her any good.” Enzo laughs again, and I feel a little sick.

  “Leah?” I ask. “That name sounds familiar.”

  “Sure, Leah, from a different part of our family, the Terry side. They don’t get along with us Gallos, but I bet you know why.”

  I grunt in response. “My son,” I say finally, getting to it. “Where’s my son?”

  Enzo’s silent for a second. “Shit,” he says. “I forgot you were the dad. I thought you were just another guy she’s been fucking. W
e’ve gotten a few calls, you know.”

  I wince but I don’t want to go down that path. I know I won’t like what I find there.

  “Is he okay?” I ask. “I’ve been trying to find him for years, Enzo.”

  “Yeah, he’s okay, but…” Enzo trails off a second. “You can’t see him.’

  “What?” I feel both elated and horrified. My son’s alive, he’s fucking alive and safe and… I can’t see him. “He’s my son,” I say almost stupidly.

  “Yeah, well, see, shit’s complicated.” Enzo sounds nervous now. “I told you too much already. Look, the kid’s fine, okay? He’s taken care of. You can just fuck off back to California.”

  Enzo hangs up the phone then. I’m in total shock for a second. I try to call again but he just ignores me. I call a few more times, and he ignores every single one. I try texting, but nothing. I stare at my phone and I want to fucking break it, smash it, but I don’t.

  My son’s alive. That’s why I don’t smash it, because my son’s alive, and he’s here. He’s in Philadelphia, or at least I think so. I can’t tell if the Gallos have him or not, or where he is. But my son’s alive.

  I sit there and I have to bite back the tears of joy that threaten to overwhelm me. All this time I thought he’d be dead or worse somewhere, abused and broken, all because of his fucked-up mother. But he’s alive, and he’s here.

  I’m so close to him, I can practically feel it.

  It takes me a while before I can think clearly again. The traffic in the airport ebbs and flows around me, but I don’t see any of it. I’m elated, horrified, excited, a million different feelings all at once. My son’s here, the son that was stolen from me in the night, he’s here and he’s alive. I’m so close.

  Finally though, I come to my senses. Enzo isn’t answering me, but he did give me one other name I can look into. Leah Terry is Harper’s cousin. I do remember Harper mentioning the name Leah once or twice, apparently they were friends when they were young girls or something, but I didn’t realize they were cousins.

  I get out my phone and I log on Facebook. It takes me a minute or two before I find Leah’s profile page, but most of her information is private. It does say that she’s in Philadelphia, although it doesn’t say where. I add her as a friend on a whim before searching some more.

  I find out that she’s a nurse. I find out that she’s smart, went to a good school, and she’s pretty. She’s really fucking pretty, like Harper, but less skinny, not so strung out and tired. Long, thick blonde hair, bright blue eyes, fit but still curvy, the kind of woman I’ve always been attracted to.

  I can’t seem to find a phone number or an address for her online, and she’s not answering her phone. Out of desperation, I decide to call a guy I know in the police department back home, the only guy that’s been helpful at all during this search these last two years.

  “How’s it going, Joey?” I ask him.

  “Hey there Connor,” he says. “You holdin’ up okay?”

  “I’m good,” I say. “Really good, actually. Listen Joey, I think I found him.”

  He pauses and doesn’t say anything. He’s heard this before, and he’s probably skeptical and sick of it. “What’s the story?” he asks finally with a sigh.

  “Listen, Google ‘Harper Gallo obituary’ right now for me, okay?”

  “Shit,” he says softly, but I hear keys clicking in the background. “Oh shit,” he says. “Wow, I’m so sorry Connor.”

  “Thanks,” I say. “But skip to the bottom. You see that?”

  He’s silent for a second before laughing. “Holy shit. Ryan’s in here.”

  “He’s in there. Look Joey, I’m in Philadelphia right now. I think my son’s here. I called Harper’s brother, but he blew me off. He did mention that Harper’s cousin, a girl named Leah, was there with her at the end. She might know something.”

  “Holy shit,” Joey says, laughing. “I honestly can’t believe this. Do you know how often a case this cold turns anything up?”

  “Never,” I say. “But he’s here, Joey. He’s really here.”

  “What can I do?”

  “I need an address for Leah Terry of Philadelphia. Can do you do that?”

  He’s quiet for a second. “Ah, fuck. I shouldn’t, but I’m going to. That all you need?”

  “That’s it,” I say. “I can do the rest.”

  “Find your son, okay, Connor? Fuck, and keep me updated.”

  “I will.”

  He rattles off an address not long later, an apartment in Catharine Street in south Philadelphia. I thank him, hang up, and stand. My heart’s beating fast as I head outside, hail a cab, and give him this girl’s address.

  My head’s spinning as we drive down the highway before dipping into the city. I’ve never been to Philly before. I spent all my life out in California, so Philly’s a strange beast to me. It’s old, dirty, grimy, but it has character. It’s an ugly day, raining and overcast, but people are still walking through the narrow, one-way streets like it’s nothing.

  The cab drops me off out front of the apartment. It looks like every other house on the block, nondescript and tucked back into the row of them. I head up the stoop and pull open the outer door. The inner door’s unlocked too, so I head upstairs toward apartment number three, barely able to contain myself. I should be collapsing with exhaustion, but I’m buzzing with excitement instead.

  I stop outside her door. I realize that I don’t know what I’m going to say, and this woman doesn’t know me at all. I guess it doesn’t matter. I have to try.

  I knock on the door. There’s a pause, and I knock again.

  “Coming!” her voice says from inside. I hear her come to the door and look out the peephole before opening a crack. “Yes?”

  “Leah Terry?” I ask her.

  She nods, face tight. She’s even prettier in person, wide blue eyes, thick, full lips, heavy blonde hair in loose curls down along her shoulders and back.

  “I’m Connor Hunt,” I say. “I knew your cousin, Harper.”

  She blinks. “What about her?” she asks.

  “I, uh, was with her, out in California.”

  Her face is blank, so I keep going.

  “We uh, we had a baby together, his name is Ryan. I’ve been looking for him for two years, ever since Harper took him and disappeared. I got your name from Enzo Gallo…”

  I trail off. As soon as I say Enzo’s name, her face closes off entirely. I think there was a flicker of recognition when I started talking about Ryan, but that’s all gone now.

  “Sorry,” she says. “I don’t know anything about this.”

  “Please, I was told you were with her—” I start saying, but she just shuts the door in my face.

  I stand there for a second, totally shocked. I didn’t expect her to slam the door in my face.

  “Please,” I say loudly, and knock again. “I just want to talk.”

  “If you don’t leave, I’m calling the cops,” Leah says from inside. “You can talk to them.”

  I gape at the door for a second. “Shit,” I say softly. I turn and walk away, back halfway down the steps.

  I stop there in the stairwell. I feel like I hit a goddamn dead end. Leah isn’t going to talk to me. Apparently, she isn’t on good terms with Enzo, considering the way she reacted when I said his name. She’s my only lead, and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

  But no… I’m not giving up. I’ve been trying for two years. I’ll give her some time to process and I’ll try again. I’ll find a hotel nearby, get myself settled, get some sleep… and then try again. I’m not giving up. I’m not walking away.

  My son’s so close. I can feel him. And I’m going to get him.

  4

  Leah

  I feel so guilty dropping Ryan off at daycare, but I have no other choice. It’s the best place I can afford, but I have to work at the end of the day, so I’m forced to part with Ryan just when I’m starting to feel a real connection forming with him.<
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  It’s slow going at first. After that run in with Enzo, and that strange, handsome man that showed up out of nowhere, things calmed down. I don’t hear from the Gallo family, and that guy doesn’t appear again.

  Although I’m not sure I’d mind if he did show up at my door. I was nervous that first time, but the more I think about him, the more I’m curious. He was handsome, hell, he was gorgeous, exactly the kind of guy I’ve always wanted. But the things he said really freaked me out.

  What if it’s true? I don’t know who Ryan’s father is, and Harper wouldn’t say anything about him. I got the feeling that he was just another junky loser she knew and didn’t want her son to have anything to do with, but what if that’s wrong? The more I think about it, the more I can see Ryan’s resemblance to that guy.

  I try not to obsess though. I let it slip my mind as the day to day grind of taking care of Ryan consumes my life. It’s impossible at first, but somehow I manage to get him into a routine, get him comfortable with his new life. I even get him to say a few words, which feels like a miracle when it happens, but he’s a smart boy. He’s adorable and he seems really kind and caring.

  I can’t imagine what all he’s been through, so I don’t push him. If he doesn’t want to talk, I don’t make him talk. I know eventually I’ll have to take him to a child psychologist, but right now, I’m letting him settle in.

  I get a month off from work. That’s generous as hell, considering the situation. I use that month to bond with Ryan the best I can, to get used to having him around, and to try to make myself feel like a mother.

  I don’t feel like a mother, though. I really don’t. At least, not until I drop him off, and I see the sad, resigned look on his face. It breaks my heart and suddenly I know I’d do anything for this little boy, which surprises me. It’s almost too intense to believe.

  I manage to walk away though and head into work. I fall back into that routine, although the look on Ryan’s face never leaves me. It’s haunting and sad, but it also makes me feel a little bit better. It means he didn’t want to leave me, either. It means maybe he’s starting to bond with me too.