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  “Is it a family name?”

  “I’m not really sure, honestly. The orphanage said that’s what my mom put on the birth certificate, but I never got a chance to ask her.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s a good name.”

  He shrugged. “Anyway, that’s my sob story,” he said quietly. “What about you, spoiled girl?”

  “Not all that much to say.”

  He cocked his brow at me. “Your turn to share now.”

  I laughed. “Fine, alright. I guess we should start with the big stuff. Remember, maybe ten years ago, those commercials for The Amazing Lucille?”

  Rex looked confused, but then recognition bloomed across his face. I knew he’d remember; most people our age remembered The Amazing Lucille. Her huge blond hair, her kitschy scarves and crystal balls, and the incredibly catchy jingle were tough to forget. They were deeply burned into my mind from a young age, at any rate. Those commercials were a part of our generation’s childhood, as much as Power Rangers and Pokémon. They ran all day and all night, and people used to hum the tune at me all the time, especially when they found out who I was. The Amazing Lucille was incredibly popular for a few years, and regularly did the talk show circuit. She was basically everywhere.

  “Yeah, I remember that. She was a psychic or something, right?”

  “Yep, Lucille was supposedly psychic. She was my mom.”

  Rex laughed. “Are you kidding me? That was your mom?”

  I let out a long sigh and nodded. I was used to that reaction. People only knew what they saw on TV, and for the most part, they saw good things. Everyone assumed I must be rich, because my mom did talk shows and commercials. The truth was, we were very comfortable, for a while at least. Then things went to shit.

  “She sure was. My dad was her business manager, and together they ran their little scam for years.”

  “What do you mean, their scam?” he asked.

  “Have you seen their commercial on TV for a while? Heard her name anywhere?”

  He shook his head, eyes concerned. “I figured they just weren’t popular anymore.”

  “Well, remember how I told you we lost all our money? My dad was arrested for fraud, and that destroyed my mom’s career. Apparently, my dad was trying to pass her off as the real deal, and was giving out stock advice to businessmen based on her predictions. Eventually, people lost money, and the Feds got involved. I haven’t seen my dad since the trial. He’s been in jail ever since I started high school. He’ll be in there for a few more years at least. The longer the better.”

  “That’s pretty fucked up,” Rex said quietly.

  I nodded. “Very fucked up. It basically destroyed my mom. She lives in a trailer down in Florida now, cleans motels during the day, and gives readings at night still.”

  “Is she for real? I mean, a real psychic?”

  I shrugged. I had been asking myself that question my entire life, and still had no good answer. The truth was, Lucille could do some freaky things, and her advice was sometimes dead on. Sometimes though, she was completely full of it. The fraud trial destroyed any reputation she had, and tarnished her image forever in my mind. Still, I remembered the creepy predictions that came true, and never knew for sure. Part of me wanted to believe, but most of me wanted to forget she even existed.

  “I honestly don’t know. She’s probably not, but I never found out for sure.”

  “Don’t see her much?”

  I shook my head. “Pretty much gave up on the two of them when my dad got arrested.”

  He wrapped his arm around my hips and pulled me against him. The river spread out before us, and I reflected on our stories. He had it much harder than I did, that was a given, but we both experienced losing a parent, even if it was in very different ways. Our stories were oddly similar, even though they ended up in completely opposite places.

  “Sorry about your people,” he whispered.

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry about yours.”

  I felt him shrug, but he didn’t respond.

  “Can I ask you something?” I said.

  “Go ahead.” I wasn’t sure why I needed to say it out loud, but I felt strangely compelled. He was in a sharing mood, and I figured then was probably the time to ask.

  “Are you part of a gang?”

  I felt his body stiffen in response. He pulled away slightly and looked down at me, his face a stony mask. I couldn’t read his expression at all.

  “Who told you that?”

  “Well, my friend Amy. She’s engaged to Shane Green, and I guess you knew his brother.”

  His expression didn’t change. “Fucking Greens.”

  “I just wanted to know, I guess. To understand you better.”

  He looked back out over the water. “I wouldn’t call it a gang, exactly. It’s the Irish mob. At least that’s what they call it.”

  “And Michael’s the boss?”

  “Yes, he is. It’s all dangerous shit. And it’s why I want you to stay away.”

  “What do you mean, stay away?”

  He looked back at me, his eyes sad and pleading. “This is a really bad time, Darcy. The fights are getting harder, and Michael is getting more serious about me paying back my debt. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I lose.”

  “You wouldn’t let something bad happen to me.”

  “You’re right, I wouldn’t. But I can’t control everything around me.”

  “Are you saying you don’t want to see me anymore?”

  He let out an exasperated breath and grit his teeth. “I do want to see you, but I don’t want to put you in any danger. This isn’t schoolgirl shit, Darcy. This is serious.”

  “I know it’s serious. I’m not an idiot.”

  “Maybe you are, if you want to be with me.”

  “Fuck you.” He could be such an asshole sometimes.

  His face softened. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.”

  He was quiet again, and we lapsed back into silence. I could feel the tension radiate from his body, and I was a mess of conflicting emotions and confusion. He seemed genuinely afraid of Michael, and he was obviously looking out for my safety. But I still trusted him, and found myself even more drawn into his world, despite the danger. Looking out at the city, sitting on a secluded rock, I felt more alive than I had in years. His strong body beside me was more solid than the stone we sat on.

  “I don’t want to go anywhere,” I said quietly.

  He looked at me, his eyes unreadable in the darkness. “I don’t want you to go anywhere, either.”

  Before I could speak, he leaned forward and kissed me hard. I wrapped my arms around him as he turned his body against mine, kissing me deeply. His tongue parted my lips and ran against mine, soft and smooth. He adjusted his body and pressed me back. I felt his weight shift and his hips press against mine. I was laying back on the rock, its cold hard weight pressing against my back as Rex’s warmth pressed against my front. I felt my passion rising, running up my spine, and his hands roamed across my body as he continued to kiss me. His hips began to grind against my spot, and I groaned quietly. Part of me was afraid we would get caught, but that part was a quiet minority. All I wanted was Rex and his body. He could have me wherever he wanted.

  As I felt myself falling deep into the motion of our bodies, his phone began to vibrate. I moved my mouth away from his.

  “Is that a new toy,” I said. He shifted his weight and started to dig the phone from his pocket. He gave me a wicked grin.

  “Hadn’t considered it, maybe we can give that a try.”

  I watched as he checked the caller-ID, and his face immediately went from playful to serious. He opened the phone and answered it.

  “What’s up?” I looked back toward the spiral staircase, but couldn’t see it through the trees and the night.

  “Right now? Are you sure? Fine. I said fine.” He flipped the phone shut.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

&
nbsp; He looked angry. “I have to go.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “That was one of Michael’s people. I have a job.”

  “You don’t just fight for him?”

  He stood and shoved the phone back into his pocket. I could see the hard outline of his cock straining against his shorts, and I assumed he didn’t want to leave.

  “I told you I work for him. I do whatever I have to do.”

  I stood up and followed as he walked quickly in the opposite direction of the spiral staircase. At the other end of the path were large stone stairs that led up toward the Water Works building and its Roman columns. We climbed the stairs quickly, and then started to walk back toward the Parkway. He didn’t hold my hand, and I had to work hard to keep pace.

  “When can I see you again?” I asked.

  He grunted and shook his head.

  I didn’t want to press him, but I hated waiting between seeing him without any word.

  “Can I see you after this job?”

  “Not tonight.” His tone was firm.

  “What are you going to be doing, anyway?”

  He stopped walking and faced me. I nearly toppled directly into him. I felt like such a needy idiot, pressing him, but I was annoyed that we had been interrupted, and I wanted a straight answer from him.

  “Listen, don’t ask any more questions about what I do for Michael.”

  I looked up into his hard, beautiful face and realized that what I was mistaking for anger was actually fear.

  “You can talk to me,” I said softly.

  He shook his head. “No, I can’t. You don’t need or want to know what I do.”

  “I’m here for you.”

  “It’s too soon. Just, trust me.” He looked around the area as cars passed us on the left. “I have a bike just ahead. Do you need a cab?”

  I shook my head. “No, I can walk.”

  “I’ll call you soon.” He leaned in and kissed me. I breathed his smell deep and savored his skin, afraid it would be the last time I felt him. Finally, we broke apart, and he hurried over to a nearby bike rack. I watched him unchain his black bike, jump on, and speed off into traffic. I stood there for a few minutes savoring his still-lingering touch, until finally I realized I looked crazy daydreaming in the middle of the sidewalk. I hurried off toward my apartment, frustrated and uncertain.

  Chapter Eleven

  I still hadn’t heard from Rex by Saturday. I was worried, but I knew he would message me when it was safe. Or maybe he wouldn’t message me at all; everything he said suggested he thought it was best if we didn’t see each other. I honestly wasn’t sure what I wanted. If I was trying hard to be rational, I wanted nothing to do with him. Like Shane and Amy both said, he was a dangerous man involved with even more dangerous men, and being around him put me in a situation I didn’t think I could control.

  But there was something pure about him that I couldn’t put into words. We couldn’t have come from more different backgrounds, and yet I felt like he understood what I had gone through. The specter of my past that kept haunting me was a part of his life too, even if his ghosts were different from mine. He may have had it harder, but we both understood what it meant to fend for yourself. Plus, when we were together, no matter what he said, I felt safe and secure in his arms. He did something to my body I had never felt before with anyone else.

  Work flew by in alternating moments of pure boredom, characterized by Marissa’s droning stories, and moments of intense anxiety, defined by my daydreams about whatever dangerous job Rex was doing for Michael. Saturday rolled around, and I knew I needed some kind of distraction, so I called Amy up.

  “Hey, kiddo,” I said when she answered.

  “What’s up, Darce?”

  “Look, I need a little girls’ night. Maybe some ice cream and Sex in the City?”

  “That’s the most cliché thing I’ve ever heard.”

  I laughed. “I know, okay. How about wine and Jerry Springer reruns?”

  “Perfect. When?”

  “Tonight, if you can?”

  There was a pause. “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you at your place?”

  “Come over at seven.”

  “See you then.”

  After she hung up, I reflected on that pause. I guessed she was asking Shane for permission, but that wasn’t fair. Their relationship was much more complex than I originally realized, and because I was becoming much more familiar with complex relationships, I decided I needed to cut her some slack. Shane was a difficult man to be with, even if every inch of him was dedicated to making Amy happy. His privacy issues may have been intense, but I was sure he had his reasons. More than that, I didn’t know what it was like to live in his world. She was probably checking in with him, which was just a normal part of a regular relationship, and not some crazy controlling thing.

  I had been with my fair share of guys, but I’d had very few serious, long-term boyfriends. My longest was a year, but just barely, and that didn’t end well. I didn’t know what I wanted most of the time. People often thought my indecision was flightiness, but really I was looking for something I was sure of. I was tired of settling for men who didn’t move me and make me bend in every way in my need for them. I was sick of finding the “good enough” and the “close but not quite.” I wanted the all-out, the man who I wanted to lay in bed with for days mainlining his body like a drug, unable to get enough. I wanted the love that didn’t fade, but changed into something more mature and powerful. Maybe I was finding that with Rex, or maybe his incredibly hot body distracted me from reality. I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to find out. If only he would let me. So far, our encounters were crystals of intimacy, glittery and flinty, but compressed. They shattered as soon as he disappeared again.

  Amy showed up at seven on the dot. She climbed out of Shane’s black town car, and I buzzed her up into my apartment. She was radiant as usual, her smile huge, her skin healthy, and I found myself feeling truly jealous for the first time since she started dating Shane. If that was what happened when you were in a fully-satisfying relationship, it was what I wanted, too.

  I poured us two glasses of red wine and we collapsed on my couch in my living room slash bedroom slash kitchen.

  “You’re probably not used to tiny apartments anymore,” I said, laughing.

  “Actually, I still have my apartment.”

  That surprised me. As far as I knew, she was living with Shane full-time. Was that an indication of a chink in the armor?

  “Really? Why?”

  She shrugged and sipped her drink. “I’m not sure, honestly. I guess I keep it out of habit. I go back maybe once every other week and make sure it hasn’t burned down.”

  “Must be nice to have a one-bedroom walk-in closet.”

  “Sure beats living in one.”

  I laughed. “Hey, this is cozy, and all I could find on short notice.”

  “I know. I actually like it, if I’m honest. I never was big on fancy space.”

  I looked around. I liked my tiny apartment, too. I was used to cramped places, coming from New York. I could afford bigger and better, but the location was fantastic. I was comfortable there, even if it wasn’t the most high-end spot in the world. I had always been that way, finding what feels right and sticking with it. The hard part was always finding that right thing to begin with.

  “How’s the wedding planning going?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “It’s going pretty well.” She paused then sipped her drink. “Actually, it’s not happening.”

  “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

  “Oh no,” Amy said quickly. “That came out wrong. I meant, the planning isn’t happening yet.”

  I laughed. “I thought there was trouble in paradise.”

  She shook her head. “No, things between Shane and me are great. It’s just that, planning a wedding with him is impossible. He wants something incredibly private, but that’s really limiting our choices. I think we’ll end up
eloping.”

  “Elope! That’d be awesome! Although, I would love to see a fancy Shane Green wedding.”

  She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder. “It’s a balancing game. I’ll figure it out eventually.”

  “Yeah, kiddo, you will. And ask me for anything you need.”

  She sat back up and downed her drink. “How’s your man, by the way?”

  I was dreading that conversation. I didn’t want to talk to Amy about Rex because I knew she didn’t approve, but I also wanted to spill every detail. Like she said, it was a balancing game.

  “I haven’t heard from him in a few days, actually.”

  She got up and refilled her glass. “Why’s that?”

  “I’m not sure. He got a call about some job during our last date, or whatever it was, then disappeared.” I knocked my drink back, trying to keep up.

  “Think things are okay?”

  I shook my head. “I really don’t know. He talked about not seeing me anymore because he thinks it’s too dangerous, but I thought I talked him out of that idea.”

  “I just want you to be happy,” Amy said.

  I stood up and joined her in the kitchen. I refilled my drink, and then held it up for a toast.

  “Here’s to being happy.” Amy laughed, and we clinked glasses.

  “So, what are you going to do if you don’t hear from him?” Amy asked.

  I shrugged. “I really don’t know. I don’t want to be a psycho stalker, but I don’t want him to ditch out on me, either.”

  “Yeah, I hear you. Please don’t turn into a psycho stalker.”

  I laughed. “Maybe I’ll turn up at his apartment with a boom box playing sappy love songs until he comes out.”

  “Great idea. Guys love that.”

  I turned away and flopped back onto the couch, careful not to spill my wine. What if he didn’t call me? I was starting to think that was a real option, but I had no clue how I’d react. I knew he was interested in me, or at least it seemed like he was. I couldn’t imagine he would break ties because he didn’t want to see me anymore. If he were trying to protect me, I’d have to show him that I could handle myself.

  Amy joined me on the couch, and turned the TV on. She flipped through some channels before stopping on the reality TV show about female wrestlers. It was starting to become our go-to trashy option.